The "re-visit"

I had a long-term girlfriend during my first attempt at college.  We were together well over a year when...well...it seemed to me it'd run its course and it was time to move on.  We truly had a blast together, enjoyed amazing chemistry, but something just didn't fit so far as "forever" kinda thoughts, yanno?  Did I mention the amazing chemistry?!!??!?

Five or so years later, we were living 250 miles away from each other, but due to a work engagement (and that fact we both found ourselves single...well, single enough), I ended up staying at her place for a night.  And wow, what a night it was - intense, familiar-yet-brand-new, electric, and...well, I'll say it again:  amazing!  One of those connections that had me thinking "oh my GAWD, how or why did I let her go?  What the hell was I thinking???  When can we do this again??!!??"

We pretty quickly coordinated the next rendezvous, still a-buzz from the first, I think both of us wondering "could we make 'us' work again....?"  This 2nd "re-visit" escapade, though, just...wasn't that good, frankly.  I mean, it was pleasant, it was comfortable, it did the basic "trick", but the passion, the goosebumps, the pure thrill of the initial re-acquaintance just wasn't there.  I think we parted ways both thinking it was still way better than doing it alone, but I doubt "I can't wait to do that again!" was on either of our minds.

Encounter #3 came along I'm pretty sure out of mutual boredom, no real enthusiasm, but purely, "eh, what/who the hell else have I got to do...?"  And that is pretty much exactly how it went.  We mighta still jumped in the sack, but only cuz we'd gut-bombed ourselves at the buffet and it was time to sleep!  That planned weekender quickly got cut down to a single evening-through-morning "date".  The disappointment was obvious - no anger, no blame, no fault, just plain ol', "damn...that was hardly worth the trip."

Why do I share this wonderful, deep, emotionally mature story to the whole flippin' world? (OK, that "whole flippin' world" bit is a mild over-statement, but you get my drift)  Simply because it near-brilliantly illustrates my recently failed relationship with a love of the internal combustion persuasion.  Life changes of the past few years (foster care, adoption, dusting off a couplefew bicycles) had me experiencing that same "it'd run its course and it was time to move on" feeling. 

Then came Dr's okay to re-mount the dirt bike and that first ride was, well, intense, familiar-yet-brand-new, electric, and amazing. I was BACK, I was fit, I was fast, I was billy-bad-ass!  Let's do that again!!!  Until the second ride, where, it was still better than sitting on the couch, but wasn't near the thrilling, fist-pumpin', rock-and-rollin' groove of the first.  Finally, based on a very similar "I got a kitchen pass and there is a race today...might as well go" rationale as the third ex-companion engagement, I loaded up the gas-burning 2-wheeler and headed out...only to also get that same "damn...that was hardly worth the trip" result.

So, the above picture is from Thursday's garage clean-out/sell-out to a good friend willing to take it all for a price we both felt was a good deal.  All this may just be further proof that I'm a slow learner that has to live everything twice, but there's also a more interesting (or at least entertaining) commonality:  my romance with dirt bikes was at its best between my first and second era of pedal-power.  That ex-girlfriend "re-visit" was between my first and second marriage to the same woman.  Purely coincidence....right...???

I'll always consider some "what if's" about the KTM, dirt biking, and off-road motorcycle racing, but hopefully I will now always know it just ain't meant to be.  My memories of it all will be rather fond, no doubt, but much like that girlfriend it is a passion that simply could not be recreated.