Ah, Mother's Day. The 2nd Sunday of May (well, as observed in the ol' U.S. of A. and many/most countries) has done come and went. It was a beautiful, damn near perfect day here in Kansas City - cool morning in the upper 50's, light breeze, sunny with blue skies all day, reaching near 80 degrees before cooling down for the night. I'm not sure what makes for a "perfect Mother's Day" because, well...I'm not a mother, never have been, and it's highly likely I never will be.
Frankly, I am sure I've viewed it too much like some manufactured-for-commerce-holiday, like Black Friday or as I feel Valentine's Day has become, for a large portion of my life. One that told me I had to spend some right amount of money and/or do something extra special each year that I would then feel compelled to out-do the next year in order to prove I actually appreciated the mothers of my world. Looking at it like that, it's pretty easy to defend my stance...I suppose. I most humbly have to admit, though, this type "rationale" that has supported so many of my opinions over the years is...once again...flat wrong.
Mother's Day was easy as a young kid - a day to make something for Mom to somehow try and ensure you stayed in her favor, regardless of all the trouble you had caused or were surely to create. You had no real concept of appreciating your Mom - just how to try and keep on her good side, get what you wanted/needed from her, and move along with your kid-ly world business.
I'm sure in my late teens and 5 or 6 of my college years there wasn't a card I sent, definitely didn't make her anything, and probably a year or two that I didn't even pick up the phone. It wasn't because I didn't "believe" in the holiday, had nothing to do with how much I truly love my mother, but simply that I had all my own uber-important life stuff to tend to and was sure there'd be other opportunities to do Mom Day right/better/something.
Then fast-forward a bit and seemingly-all-of-a-sudden, my wife is now also a mother. As a father I found myself with a front-row seat to what is actually required to be a Mom, and more important, what's involved with being a really good one. No matter how the division of labor is managed in the household, somehow it's always Mom who keeps it all in order, correctly pointed, coordinated, planned and cared for. She's not only mothering my son (now two of 'em!), but both directly and indirectly helping me to continue to evolve as a father. Yes, I'm already imagining the crap I'm gonna get if/when my wife reads this, but this shit is true, and it will only surprise & amuse her that I'm "saying it out loud"...
Anyway, through this "window seat to motherhood", you start seeing every mother around you in a different light. No matter how "good" or "right" you think they're doing on the Mom Mission, you just can't help but finally understand a bit of what they're dealing with and admire some part of their being. They're a mother, and that's a tough gig, plain & simple.
I'm pretty damn fortunate - I've known some fantastic mothers in my time. I'm closely related to FIVE that I'd vote as world class, Top-Notch-Momma's, each a fantastic example of mother-ness in their own unique circumstance. Add to that the "back-up" Mom's I had in high school, my next door neighbor, some of my closest friends and several co-workers, and there's plenty good reason for me to pause, at least for a moment on a single Sunday in May, and be somewhat in awe of what the day should/does truly represent.
Now, all that said, I will not try to say that I'm by any means a model of how "to do" Mother's Day, but I do truly hope to continue to love, learn and listen to all of the Mom's that I get to share my life with today. At the very least, that "damn near perfect" day I spoke of earlier? It was exactly that, and a day that I spent more-than-usual amounts of time being thankful for what day it was. The only thing that'd made it truly "perfect" would be not having to explain just how long it took me to get there...
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